Wednesday, February 11, 2009

What We Can Learn From Michael Phelps

Now, I don't smoke pot, but this seems to be a relevant point. Michael Phelps has lost numerous endorsement contracts and has been suspended from competitive swimming as a result of the surfacing of an incriminating picture of him hitting a bong at a party (and I suppose we just presume there's marijuana in it . . . but whatever).

Now, people all over the world are looking at Michael Phelps like they did when that Dell kid (you know . . . dude, you're getting a Dell) got in trouble. People are like, "man, Michael, why would you ruin your life like that?"

What if we're looking at it wrong. Maybe we shouldn't think that Phelps is a fuck up; rather, that Phelps is not a fuck up. What if all that stuff they've always told us about marijuana isn't really true? What if there are more functioning potheads than there are functioning alcoholics? What if you can smoke pot and still be the most awarded Olympian of all time? Perhaps a little pot from time to time doesn't actually ruin your life and turn you into an absentminded vegetable.

Who'd've thunk it? A true Olympic endorsement for marijuana. And honestly, you can't tell me that you didn't know the Dell kid was a pothead? I mean, that's why everybody liked him! He acted like a pothead. He acted like a pothead at his audition and Dell hired him because he seemed cool and hip and people would relate. Then, when we found out he actually did smoke, we fired him!

And for my final point . . . marijuana is great for the snack food industry.

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